This satirical speech has been floating around the internet for some time and I'm not sure who exactly wrote it, but Dr. Theo sent it to me today and I thought we should share it with our Dakota Voice readers.
If you've ever felt the frustration I sometimes do with the abstruse, unfathomable ignorance which hovers somewhere around 50% of the American population, you will appreciate this.
There are days when I'd pay good money to see President Bush issue this speech.
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Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.' Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.
I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.
The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too darn lazy to do your homework and figure it out.
Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media.
Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too darn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.
We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied...People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.
Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named ' Clinton ' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?
Now some of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign policy or economics, and this nitwit says we should attack Pakistan , a nuclear ally. And then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a terrorist who says he's going to destroy us. While he's doing that, he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda, Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money to the IRS so the government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who he will make into citizens, so they can vote to re-elect him. He also thinks it's okay for Iran to have nuclear weapons, and we should stop our foreign aid to Israel. Did you sleep through high school?
You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.
That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the butchers are all over the globe.
You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'
Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.
Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.
In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times,USA Today, or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol or Dancing with the Stars.
I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that 's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.
I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.
So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient for years. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.
Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.
So that's it. God bless what's left of America.
Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss off.
PS - You might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran.
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Thursday, October 16, 2008
President Bush's Resignation Speech?
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2 comments:
This was written by someone who lives in a delusional dream world. And that's OK. They can have their dream version of Bush but a 70% disapproval rating doesn't lie. This guy is going to be remembered by history as the worst president the country has ever had and it's not because everyone didn't 'give in to his "rebel cowboy" ways. They did, and what's going on today is the direct result. The country is a shit hole in economic ruin. And even though the set up for this says that it's effective because it's based in fact, there are parts of this that are flat out not true. Here's an example:
The moron who wrote it included this:
"We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq 's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell."
Here's the truth for anyone who believes that we didn't actually go there for oil. A bit of history:
In 1972, they (Hussein and Co.) nationalized the Iraq Petroleum Company, folding everything from drilling rigs to refineries and gas stations into the state-owned Iraq National Oil Company. The IraqPetroleum Company's Western employees were forced to leave. From that point on, anybody who wanted access to Iraq's oil had to deal with the leaders of the Baath Party, the most powerful of whom was Saddam Hussein.
So, Saddam nationalized his country's oil and kicked everyone else out.
The 2003 invasion
April 16 2003,
Since US forces rolled into central Baghdad a week ago, one of the sole public buildings untouched by looters has been Iraq's massive oil ministry, which is under round-the-clock surveillance by troops.
The imposing building in the Al-Mustarisiya quarter is guarded by around 50 US tanks which block every entrance, while sharpshooters are positioned on the roof and in the windows.
The curious onlooker is clearly unwelcome. Any motorist who drifts within a few metres of the main entrance is told to leave immediately.
Baghdad residents have complained that US troops should do more to protect against the looters, most of them Shi'ite Muslims repressed by Saddam Hussein's Sunni-dominated regime who live in the vast slum known as Saddam City on the northern outskirts.
But while museums, banks, hotels and libraries have been ransacked, the oil ministry remains secure.
more: http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/04/16/1050172643895.html
And in 2008
June 19 2008
BAGHDAD — Four Western oil companies are in the final stages of negotiations this month on contracts that will return them to Iraq, 36 years after losing their oil concession to nationalization as Saddam Hussein rose to power. Exxon Mobil, Shell, Total and BP — the original partners in the Iraq Petroleum Company — along with Chevron and a number of smaller oil companies, are in talks with Iraq’s Oil Ministry for no-bid contracts to service Iraq’s largest fields, according to ministry officials, oil company officials and an American diplomat.
more: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/19/world/middleeast/19iraq.html?n=Top/Reference/Times%20Topics/People/H/Hussein,%20Saddam
July 1, 2008 · Iraq's oil ministry has just opened the doors to several major western oil companies. It's been more than 36 years since companies like Exxon have had access to Iraq's oil fields. And down the road, Iraq's reserves could dramatically increase the world's oil supply.
Iraq's Oil Ministry announced Monday that it is opening six prime oil-producing regions to long-term development by international oil companies.
The ministry also announced a hitch in negotiations on short-term agreements with five major oil companies that were scheduled to be approved next month. The two plans could bring international companies back into Iraq's oil sector for the first time since the oil industry was nationalized in the 1970s. Iraqi opposition leaders have denounced the plans, saying they are putting the country's oil wealth into Western hands.
more: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92060025
So now, Saddam is dead and western companies have returned to the Iraqi oil fields for the first time in 36 years. Think we didn't go there for oil? Keep believing the lie.
Yes, and all the cheap gas we now have is proof you were right.
Seriously, while ensuring our petroleum supply is stable is a worthy objective (every developed nation would be crippled in every way without our oil supply), there are many other reasons why the Iraq invasion was justified and necessary. I'd suggest you read this for a quick summary: http://www.dakotavoice.com/2008/07/milestones-on-road-to-iraq.html?showComment=1215104100000
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